just leaves you bruised

oh i just got really tired. this will be quick. Ruby Tuesday is being really really cute right now. she's laying down on my feet and she keeps trying to get more comfortable by stretching her paws out. she's the sweetest. except when she was biting my feet earlier.

ok. so here's the deal:

i woke up for staff meeting today. almost immediately i learned that my boss had called out of work tonight because she is sick. and Courtney (who worked in the morning) asked me if i would work tonight until 10. at first i thought, 'no' because i really didn't want to. but then about halfway through staff meeting, hearing everything crazy that was being said and the way all these girls have been acting, i thought to myself, "there can't just be one staff on tonight. i have to work." so, i decided to work. took one for the team. did it for the greater good.

whatever. it was yet another bad, bad night. what a freaking surprise.

ya see, the thing about working tuesday nights is that you have to do "one-on-ones" with the residents. which means we report back to them about things that were talked about in staff meeting as they relate to each of them. sometimes these go good, but other time they go bad. i've only done them a few times and i don't like it.

basically, i knew that 1/3 of the one-on-ones would end badly. i just didn't really know how badly. and all the other staff were like, "good luck julie!" and then left.

i was prepared a little.

so, my first one-on-one goes fine. the resident is a little upset by what i have to say. whatever, i dealt with it. explained it fully. fine.

then came the second one.

i wasn't even finished speaking my first sentence and this resident erupted screaming and yelling. immediate swearing. horrid language on this girl.

so, i had to deal with that. i think one of my strengths is that i don't yell back. even in tough situations like this one, i am able to remain calm.

there were two other staff in the room when this was happening. one of them had to leave halfway because she was getting so frustrated. and the other had to fight to keep a straight face. after i had to end the one-on-one because it was going so poorly, the other staff said to me, "i don't know how you did that without blowing up at her." and they repeated it a couple times throughout the night. that made me feel good.

so then there's the rest of the night. bad. bad. bad. lots of yelling. lots of bad language. lots of slamming things and stomping around. because, ya know, i live in a house of 8 year olds.

so then. the other staff i was working with had to make a run to walgreens to pick up a prescription. the girl who had the blow up during her one-one-one came in to the office to make a phone call. the little girls were asleep. one resident was out an one was upstairs.

so, she starts out on the phone. it's going okay. not great, but okay. then finally things start to get nasty. she's yelling into the phone for about ten minutes. not getting anywhere. so, i finally say to her, "you need to end the phone call." i say this like, three times before she finally hangs up on the person.

and then! she immediately picks up the phone again and screams, "I'M CALLING THE POLICE!!!!!"

i say, "whoa, calm down, you're not calling the police."

she SLAMS the phone down, turns to me in her chair, fists clenched, and she just starts SCREAMING at me. like, SCREAMING. the last time i heard screaming this loud and intense was in Revolutionary Road.

and i keep looking down at her clenched fist and i'm thinking to myself, "how am i going to defend myself right now?" so, she was sitting in an office chair, and i was sitting in a rocking chair, with two binders on my lap.

and i kept thinking, "if she comes at me, am i going to throw the binders on the ground, or use them as defense?" i was also thinking, "it sucks that i'm in this rocking chair because it takes about one second longer to get up from than a normal chair."

and i was totally preparing myself for combat. this was the very first time in my life where i actually thought someone was going to punch me.

but! i was able to deescalate her using my words! the only combat i need is my rhetoric. once i was actually able to get her to talk in a normalish tone, she was still being a total jerk to me so i finally just said, "okay, you need to leave right now, go upstairs, and cool down."

and she listened.

and then she left the office and i was all shaking and about ready to cry. but, i didn't. instead i was kind of proud of myself. i think i did some good work tonight. i was able to stay calm throughout everything and basically deal with it myself. i am proud of myself. and, as much as these nights totally suck, it's definitely just giving me more experience. because before tonight for instance, i had never been in an "almost fight" situation. and now i have. and so that just makes me that much better of a worker.

and Ruby Tuesday was so happy to see me when i came home tonight! and as bad as my days are, i'm always happy to see her. and she's so excited when i walk through the door because that means it's time for her supper!!! and like tonight, she jumped on the couch with me and immediately curled up and fell asleep. she's happy i'm here. i think i might break if she wasn't here with me.

and in OTHER good news, netflix shipped me the Jeremy Piven movie. i am very excited about this. i know you all were probably on pins and needles waiting to see if they would ship it or not.

tomorrow i'll go pick it up. hopefully i'll be greeted by my favorite postal worker. that would make the day go smoother.

maybe i'll also get a raspberry iced mocha tomorrow. that will also make me feel better about going to work tomorrow night.

ALSO making me feel better about working, is the fact that i'll be home NEXT TUESDAY. i am going to get caught up on remembering what it feels like to have nobody yell at you all day. i remember it was a nice feeling....

i also started watching In the Name of the Father tonight. daniel day-lewis. emma thompson. about a northern irishman who was wrongly convicted of an IRA terrorist attack in london. i'm about halfway. and it got too serious for me. i'll finish it tomorrow. but! the prison scenes were filmed in Kilmainham Gaol, where I WAS!!!! in dublin over the summer!!!!! i was very excited to see that.

and then for some reason immediately thought about the Cinnamon Cafe, where we had lunch after visiting the Gaol. i had a good coffee there. i liked that cafe. and then aliya, elizabeth and i used the fancy bathrooms in the Jameson Whiskey place.

MAN. tough week already. first the deer. and now tonight. november must be one of my unfavorable months.

i was rereading my yearly horoscope for 2009 and it said, "you will have 9 unfavorable months and 3 so-so months." i would say my three favorable months go from mid-may to mid-august. take a day or so, and put it in february when Kate Winslet won the academy award.

anyways. i'm tired. it's 2:27am. you know what they say.... the early bird gets the worm. i guess that more relates to people who wake up early. not go to bed early. which is not really early at all because it's after 2am.

alright, i'm just going to admit this: if someone said to me, 'hey, let's go see New Moon when it comes out!' i would probably say yes.

i don't really care about that whole series, but, i liked the first movie. and yes, i would date R. Patt if he asked me. that's the final word.

oh! earring update.

so, i've cleaned it with the alcohol twice today. the second time it was not looking so good. so, i took it out. a huge glob of junk came out with it. i soaked everything in alcohol. the earring and my ear. and got all the junk off the earring. washed it again. and it slid right back in my ear. very easily.

that was a pretty gross update. but there are no secrets here. we'll see how tonight goes. there is still no back to the earring because there's no room for it. there's only a tiny piece of earring post that pokes through the ear because of the bump on the back.

so, i think that right now it's infected. but, i also think there's something wrong. like, there's got to be a reason that it's not healing. and i've had it since March.

my body just does not want the earring. even if it is teal. we'll see what happens.

alright. sorry. earring update OVER.

actually, blog post OVER too. i am tired. tried and tired. and i have to do it all tomorrow.

hope your night was a ton better than mine. please, feel free to share your good times with me so i can think about them when i'm having a bad time.

you guys are awesome. thank you for listening to me.

i'll talk to you later. have a great wednesday!!!!!!


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