i talk outloud like you're still around

so, i've known since last wednesday night that Jason Schwartzman got married. in secret. back in July. more specifically, 11 July.

now, i still kind of can't believe this. i definitely went through a short period of shock. i'm not used to my celebrity loves getting married.

ESPECIALLY since earlier this summer (5 july, to be exact) i named Jason Schwartzman as one of the two celebs that i would D.E.A.M. Drop Everything And Marry. i just made up that acronym.

but, Merritt sent me an uplifting comment on Facebook. i posted my status as,

JULIE'S STATUS: didn't Jason Schwartzman know he was supposed to marry me?!

and then Merritt responded with,

MERRITT'S RESPONSE: Leo's still available though...

that made me smile during this hard time.

so, he was married on 11 July. and naturally, i immediately tried to remember what i was doing on 11 July. and then i thought, "it's such a great thing that i have this blog." so, i looked it up. there's only one entry for 11 July. which one is it, you ask?

VOMDITIONER. yes, that was the day that i was washing the banana vomit conditioner chunks out of my hair.

perfect, right!? yes. so, so perfect. Jason was off getting married in secret and i was washing banana vomditioner out of my hair. WOW.

this whole event has made me realize how much i simply adore J. Schwartz. and i do. i just think he's great. i love his movies and i love his music.

if you read my college newspaper, The Climax, for the three years i wrote film reviews, you will know just how much i love his movies.

it started with Shopgirl. three sentences into the review i say that Jason is my future husband. then go on to criticize the lack of Schwartzman nudity in the film. AND THEN, go on to write A PUBLIC LOVE LETTER TO: Jason Schwartzman. he was the only celebrity i ever gave a "public love letter" segment to.

All marriage biases aside, Jason Schwartzman was very impressive. He definitely carried the movie in terms of comedy and every time he would appear onscreen, the audience would laugh without him having said anything. He played the part perfectly. The love scene between Jeremy and Mirabelle is a highlight, although it made me painfully jealous.


then, Marie Antoinette. another "jason is my future husband" remark. another "lack of schwartzman nudity" criticism.

Now, those of you who read The Climax last year know that Jason Schwartzman and I have a pretty intimate relationship, so after months and months of waiting, when Marie Antoinette was finally released there was no question that I would be seeing it. I mean, it's only right to support your future husband.


and then, of course, The Darjeeling Limited. my most grown-up Schwartzman review. no "future husband" remark, no "schwartzman nudity" criticism. nicely done, julie. there was this paragraph at the end, which i will post for you.

Now, I won't go on and on about how hott and sexy Owen and Jason were. But, I will a little bit. Even with his face bandaged up and his eyes black and blue, Owen Wilson can still steal my heart. I don't know how he does it. His hair was greasy and he walked with a limp, but man, I couldn't get enough. And, Jason. Oh, Jason. I don't know if you remember My Public Love Letter to Jason Schwartzman, which was published in The Climax, but I think that still pretty much sums it up. I will love Jason forever. The way his dark hair falls into his face, the sad look in his eyes just asking me for a hug, and every single other thing about him makes me melt. I will never have enough.


and now he's married. to not-me. one celeb less available. hey, a girl can still swoon. but, i have this funny thing about me. like, when i read that he had gotten married, i immediately thought, "aw crap, now he can't marry me." like, he was ever going to marry me in the first place? um, no.

or, like, i specifically remember the day when i read that Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams had broken up. and i remember thinking, "oh good, now i can marry Heath." and like, i didn't obsess over it any more that day. it was like, a thought in passing. just like any other thought.

and now, like Merritt reminds me, there is still the other man on my D.E.A.M. list: Leo. even though i read some report saying he had been on a cruise for two weeks with like, 12 supermodels. he's still on the list.

but, the fact that Jason was getting married and i was washing banana vom out of my hair really brings it home. that's a reality punch in the stomach.

and i am happy for him. it's a wedding! people are in love. that's a great thing. and i can't wait to see The Fantastic Mr. Fox. Schwartzman and Streep! together at last in animated wonderment.

anyways. that's all i can say for tonight. this has been kind of a traumatic experience saying all this outloud. or, not outloud. but you know what i mean.

there is some good to come of this, though. for, in my youtube searching of Jason, i have come across this absolutely beautiful cover of 'West Coast.' it's a piano version sung by this girl with a very pretty voice. i definitely encourage you to listen.

and, the other night there was a West Coast phenomenon that i experienced. i was listening to 'West Coast' in my car, and then somebody called me on my cell phone, and 'West Coast' also started to play as it is my ringtone. in all my years having 'SOS' by Rihanna as my ringtone, i'm not sure that ever happened.

at first, i was very worried because i thought something was wrong with my version of the song. but then i realized that it was my cell phone also playing the song. what are the odds?!? it was truly remarkable.

so, listen to that link i posted. i don't think you'll be disapointed.

and have a great monday. another week full of possibility.


HERMAN: She's my Rushmore.
MAX: I know. She was mine too.


<3