"i'm not good with anger, i go straight to depression."

i'm blogging it out. blog it out. blog it out. blog it out.

and breathe.

i know i am overtired. but i am not tired right now, and therefore cannot sleep. i almost just let this get the better of me.

it was between screaming and throwing my computer against a wall, or crying.

but i took control and blogged it out instead.

ALL i wanted to do in the little non-work time that i have today, was to watch Jim and Pam get married on The Office. that's all. a simple task, you may think. well not for my horrible, awful computer that never works.

ooooooooblogitoutooooooooo

NO. i will not break down over this. NOT over Jim and Pam. and their total cuteness.

i just wanted to relax and watch The Office. after working alllll day. a small inbetween work time that i have. i just wanted to watch them get married. but no. it's just too much for my little computer to take. i refreshed the page. i closed and opened firefox. twice. i restarted the computer. refreshed the page again. and it just cannot catch up with itself.

AND! the thing that DOES freaking work on NBC.com is the advertisement for Cotton with Zooey Deschanel. UGH. she's all cute and beautiful with her hair and her big eyes and her teal high heels and her awesome hipster vintage clothes. LAME. UGH I HATE HER BUT I'M SO JEALOUS.

ok i'm calm now.

let's think of it this way! it's currently 1:50am on sunday morning. from 2am sunday morning until 8am monday morning, i have 22.5 more hours of responsibility until i have a day off.

day off will probably = go to the post office. get disc of Jonas. watch said disc all day, on the couch, in my pajamas.


the other night i had a dream that i woke up and everything was covered in snow. it was really pretty.

i guess all this working has an upside. because the more hours i work, the closer i am to saving money to buy a new laptop, the closer i will be to watching Jim and Pam get married.

i'll probably watch it sooner than that. because no matter how much money i save, it will still probably take me months and months to get a new laptop.

WOW. i just complained a lot about my life in this entry. i am sorry. there are lots of people working in this world with jobs that suck way, way worse than my job, which tonight, consisted of rocking babies to sleep, feeding babies supper and making them laugh, and rocking babies to sleep some more.

i really shouldn't complain at all.

i should go to bed soon so that i can maybe wake up a bit earlier. if i wake up earlier, and sit down and have breakfast with myself, it feels like i have some time off. whereas this past week i have been waking up and immediately going to work.

tonight, Ruby Tuesday sneezed twice and they were the funniest sneezes ever. they were huge! she like, lifted up her head, opened her mouth, and then sneezed really big. twice in a row!!! i said, "oh my goodness god bless you!!!!"

it was very cute. it's also very cute when babies sneeze. this newborn baby has been sneezing a lot this week.

it's so weird for me to think about being a newborn baby. like, being born must be the most horrible thing to experience. it's probably a great thing that we can't remember it. it's all dark and warm and then suddenly it's so bright and there are all these people fussing over you and you have to do things like cry and sneeze, which you've never done before. and burp. and wake up every couple hours to eat. and have your diaper changed.

it's probably the most things we will ever experience in such a short amount of time.

this new baby is so handsome. and today he really started opening his eyes for long amounts of time. and i was rocking him tonight and he was just looking at me. he's so cute. he does this thing sometime where he'll just open up one eye. it's funny.

also tonight at work, i was feeding supper to the 18 month and 7 month old sisters (yes, both of them, at once!) and the 7 month old was getting cranky because she was so tired and she hasn't been feeling well this week. and her big sister started making this silly noise that just got her laughing and laughing. and then she tried to do it too! oh my god it was like the best thing ever. they are so cute with each other it's ridiculous. and then they were both just looking at each other and laughing. and then the 7 month old started crying again.

and also tonight at work, we were all sitting in the living room watching Elmopalooza and the 18 month old came over to me with a book again and stood in front of me and said, "sit on lap, please?" yeah. it's the best. but then she couldn't decide whether to read the book, or to watch Elmo.

it's a pretty good movie. i can't even tell you how many times i have seen Elmopalooza. probably 50 times in a year. Elmo is hosting this big celeb-filled event which Jon Stewart is hosting. but then! something goes wrong and Jon Stewart gets locked in his dressing room, along with the locksmith!!! (why there is a locksmith at Elmopalooza, i do not know.) so, he can't get out!

and David Alan Grier is the stage manager and he starts freaking out! and they have to find a way to keep the people happy while Jon is locked in the dressing room. so, they perform all these big musical numbers featuring En Vogue, Shawn Colvin, Jimmy Buffet, Rosie O'Donnell and Gloria Estefan.

but then!!! Elmo gets sad for some reason which is escaping me, and the only thing that will cheer him up is the song 'One Small Voice' by Kenny Loggins. BUT!!! the tape is also locked in the dressing room!!!!

SO!!!! in an 'edge of your seat' moment, Oscar the grouch gets out his pet worm and Burt pulls out a pepper shaker from his pants (questionable, i know) and Oscar makes the worm sneeze by sprinkling pepper on him. and the power of the worm's sneeze blows down the door.

and they are able to play One Small Voice and Elmo is happy yet again.

i mean, the whole film just screams OSCAR! and i mean the Academy Awards, NOT the grouch.

it's actally pretty funny, because Oscar the Grouch says,

OSCAR: Ok, does anyone have any pepper?
BURT: (pulls out the pepper shaker from his pants. everyone looks at him.) What? Nobody else carries around their own seasoning?

oh, burt. and YES, i just quoted Elmopalooza in this blog. if you thought the JoBros quotes were bad....

this was actually the second Elmo movie we watched tonight. we also watched Elmo in Grouchland. which has the classic song, 'C is for Cookie.' (that's good enough for me!)

yeah. i can't stand going to work. babies sit on my lap and we watch Elmo movies.

alright. i guess. 2:27am. i think i did a pretty good job of blogging it out. i feel better now. i'm going to go to bed.

at least Elmo is better than Winnie the Pooh. i do not care for that gang at all. i'm sorry if i offend any of you Pooh fans. i have never liked them. they are all creepers. why is a bear, a pig, and a donkey hanging out together in the first place? it just doesn't make any sense. and all their voices sound like old men. that is really creepy.

ok. 2:32am. i'm listening to Hanson right now. i can't go to bed now! i can't shut off the Hanson!!! Hanson was in Boston this past Wednesday. YEAH. I KNOW. they played the House of Blues. Taylor had the flu, but he still performed. trooper! Zac's birthday is coming up at the end of this month. i actually think he might have the same birthday as Matilda Ledger. she is turning 4. he is turning 24.

i took some very scientific online quizzes the other night. the first scientific quiz i took was called, "Which Jonas Brother Will You Marry?" turns out, i will marry Kevin. the one who is already engaged. engaged to who, you ask? um, definitely not me. so, that was depressing.

the second scientific quiz i took was called, "Which Jonas Brother's Song Are You?" now, at first i was a little confused, because, how can you be a song? but, i figured i would try it out. the strange workings of the quiz told me that i was the song, 'Hello Beautiful.' hey - it's science. i swear i did not rig the quiz. i had no cheats. SCIENCE. so, then i was happy because the Jonas Brothers told me i was beautiful.

so, yeah. 2:42am. i have to be up at 4am. i should go to bed now. last night i had to FORCE myself to go to bed.

i just hate going to bed and knowing that i have to wake up in an hour! but, i can't just stay awake because then i will be too tired for work!! UGH! i wish i could just stay awake until 8am. and then NOT have to work during the day. that schedule would work much better for me.

anyways. ok. JULIE GO TO BED.

ok. have a great sunday. you know what they say, sunday = funday. i am going to wake up semi-early. make coffee. have a nice breakfast. relax with Miss Tuesday. i will be calm and energized and ready to go take on three teenagers and three babies.

love to you. thanks for listening to me complain and then talk about totally random things. you are the best. for realz.


Tonight I'm gonna fly
Cause I could comb across the world
And see everything and never be satisfied
If I couldnt see those eyes
Hello Beautiful

(this is the song they wrote for me!!!)


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