meet me on the equinox

OK. big news. BIG NEWS.

i just finished watching Twilight: New Moon. YEP. that's right.

um, wow. i don't really know where to start.

ok yes i do.

i will start by saying that this movie needs to be re-edited. by like.... me. because that's what i was doing while i was watching it. i was re-editing it to make it shorter.

that scene after Edward deserts Bella in the woods? and then she collapses on the ground for like, ten hours? and then something happens and she has to be rescued by a shirtless werewolf human? remember that scene? YEAH. that's where i would start.

that scene takes like, half the movie. they could cut out some parts (which i have already picked out) and rearrange it a little bit, and THAT scene, plus the scene where the months and months are passing while she's sitting in her room being depressed could be cut down to shave off like, ten minutes of the movie.

that time passing scene was just boring. they could have either sped it up so the camera moved around her quicker, or did it some other way.

LIKE, the scene in Notting Hill when the seasons are passing and Hugh Grant is walking through the outdoor market. make it interesting like that. not just watching Kristen Stewart being all lame in a chair.

first order of business:

1. RE-EDIT TWILIGHT

next:

what's up with Bella being SO DEPRESSING all the time?!!? omg she was making me so angry. she is SO OBSESSED with Edward it's WEIRD! does anyone else think it's weird??

like, he is so totally mean to her right at the very beginning and leaves her alone in the woods to go live in Italy, or wherever, and then she spend the next two hours of the film being all depressed/obsessed, until she thinks he's going to die, and then she DROPS EVERYTHING and immediately gets on a plane to Europe!

and then does a lot of slow motion running through a town.

i don't know. it did not feel to me like it was, "aw, look how much she loves him!" it felt more like, "wow she is going crazy because she is so obsessed with him."

and this is a message to her dad:

Dear Bella's Dad,

Um, if your daughter is waking up screaming every single night from horrible nightmares and this continues for like, three months, don't you think you'd get her into some sort of counseling or something? Just thought I would mention that, since you seemed pretty annoyed that you kept having to go into her room and wake her up from all the shrieking.

Good luck with all that,
Julie

that annoyed me too.

ALSO ANNOYING: why can't Bella and Edward just HARDCORE MAKE OUT ALREADY!!??? every time they would kiss for like, one second and then he'd be like, "no!" does he want to bite her so bad? because she is so tempting? or is he just not into making out?

not like TAYLOR LAUTNER who just wants to make out with her all the time. but Bella's all, "no, i can't make out with you shirtless taylor lautner because i'm waiting to not make out with robert pattinson!"

um, okay. if Taylor Lautner was standing in front of me, saving me from motorcycle accidents, saving me from drowning, saving me from the dreadlock vampire in the field, saving me from the mean werewolf, giving me a dreamcatcher for my bad dreams, AND he was shirtless - i would probably make out with him. let's face it. i would.

another thing about Taylor Lauter: WHO DOES HE SOUND LIKE???!?!? when he speaks. he sounds like someone else. when i think of this 'someone else,' i think of a mix between Shia LaBeouf and Taylor Hanson. and for some reason i picture a bunch of government officials having a meeting. why? i don't know. maybe you can help me.

googling, 'who does taylor lautner sound like' was no help. also, googling, 'taylor lautner voice' just took me to a yahoo answers page with the subject, "does taylor lautner have a stupid voice?" which amused me.

and reading through all 14 pages of the Taylor Lautner message board on IMDb was no help. i mean.... i didn't do that. what?

ALSO, the score reminded me of another movie score and it was driving me crazy. i think it was a period film. Alexandre Desplat does the score for New Moon. which is funny, because i watched Fantastic Mr. Fox earlier today and he does the score for that movie too!!

ALSO, remember the other day i read that article on teal and orange and how they are taking over movies? i noticed it! for sure! in New Moon. especially towards the end. and i was proud of myself because i noticed it. like, reading this article and taking my newfound knowledge and applying it to a real-world situation.

ALSO - the scene where Edward and that other guy kept smashing each other into the marble floor? and the marble stairs? and the marble columns? remember that scene? that scene was awesome.

and i loved Bella during that part. i kept imagining the director off-screen yelling,

DIRECTOR OF NEW MOON: And now....LOOK SHOCKED!!!! OPEN YOUR MOUTH WIDER!! SPIN AROUND REAL FAST SO YOUR HAIR FLIES EVERYWHERE! Aannnddddd.....MESS UP YOUR HAIR! AGAIN!!!

oh, it was great.

and after all this criticizing/making fun of New Moon, it ended and i was like,

JULIE: NOOOO!!!!! It can't be over!!!!!! MORE MORE!!!!

yeah, i wanted the sequel immediately. good ending.

and now i'm listening to the New Moon soundtrack. which i already had on my laptop. and it's been on the Top Alternative Albums since like, the summer. or whatever. i like a lot of the music, actually.

The Killers = good song.
Muse = good song, but i didn't realize it was Muse until just now.
Death Cab = good song
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club = good song


and now for a band name mash up:

black sabbath rebel motorcycle S club seven mary three doors system of a down

YES. that was a good one.

anyways. back to New Moon.

eh, i liked it. amidst all my complaining and making fun of - i enjoyed it. i enjoyed all the shirtless, extremely ripped guys. even though i don't like guys who are extremely ripped.

ANYWAYS. let's move on.

let's talk about how hott it is in my apartment right now. it says it's 54 degrees outside. but inside my apartment currently, it is the kind of heat where you can't even move without getting sweaty and sticky. like, i'm all gross feeling, and i'm just sitting on the couch. typing. it's like the kind of sticky that you can't think about too much or else you'll go crazy. ya know?

horrible. and i bet if i walked downstairs, it would be like, 10 degrees cooler.

last night i woke up at like, 5am because i was soooooo hott and sweaty in bed. and i had to put in my window fan. YEAH! it was that bad.

for those of you who don't know - i live in an attic. for real. my apartment is what should be the attic of a very old house. it's quite spacious and lovely, but it's hott.

Ruby Tuesday has spent allllll day sleeping on her back. for real. everywhere. on the couch. on the windowsill. on my chair. on the floor. she immediately rolls over onto her back. it's very, very, VERY cute. i got pictures of at least three of the times. i will post them sometime.

anyways. i am also very tired. i almost took a nap at around 8pm. because i was so tired and bored.

it's like i am either so so super tired from not doing anything all day, OR i am so so super awake from not doing anything all day.

today i went to wal-mart and then to the grocery store. it was boring and lame.

but then i made a sandwich and watched Fantastic Mr. Fox. i got it from the Easter Bunny. OH, i love that movie. best movie of the year. hands down. it's so funny!

i can't remember what i did after that. i thought about taking a nap then, but it was too hott to be around blankets. and i have to have a blanket when i sleep.

tomorrow, which is thursday, i have plans to do NAIL ART. yep. nail. art. i want blue nails with yellow stars. and i will try and make it happen. that will be my creative project for the day.

i should try and do a creative project every day. i also thought i would go to the library. and try and read at least one book per week. because i read that other book last week in just one day. so, i can do more. and then i think i will not be as bored, and i will be productive at the same time.

last night i got REALLY REALLY excited because i was Twitter Stalking members of the Crash Queens, and there were all these tweets that were along the lines of, "i don't know if i would buy a jonas brothers ticket just to see crash kings. i don't think i would feel good about myself..." and people kept going on and on about Crash Kings and JoBros. and i was sooooo totally confused and then i was like,

JULIE: OHMYGOD ARE CRASH KINGS GOING ON TOUR WITH THE JOBROS?!?!!?!?

and i did some more research. and i think people were just talking about it hypothetically. omg i would die. if it were true. how amazing would that be?

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING:

you're thinking: it would be two sixths of THE BRO TOUR!!!!!

HANSON
JONAS BROTHERS
CRASH KINGS
KINGS OF LEON
JET
with special guests
ROBERT and JASON SCHWARTZMAN

yeah. that was like, the first thing i thought of. no, i'm not joking.

if i were a super powerful tour putting together person, i think The Bro Tour might actually be pretty easy to put together.

BECAUSE

Robert Schwartzman is BFF with both Taylor Hanson AND Joe Jonas.
AND
Robert Schwartzman is in Rooney, who toured with Crash Kings, who are BFF with JET.

somebody really just has to let Kings of Leon know. Robert can also let Jason know, because they are bros.

and it would be super fun for all these boys because they're ALREADY friends! well, they have common friends.

and! i forgot about that tweet when Crash Kings was like, 'hey @joejonas let's jam together!' or whatever. after @joejonas was like, 'check out @crashkings! they're awesome!' or something.

so, Crash Kings and Joe Jonas are BFF too.

how come nobody is BFF with Kings of Leon? are those guys nice?

ok i should stop talking about The Bro Tour. i'm getting too excited. i should make up posters. what?! NO. no julie, you definitely should not make up posters for the bro tour.

ANYWAYS.

the other morning i woke up at like, 7am because i thought i heard someone walking across my room. it was pretty creepy, i'm not gonna lie. like, my floor was creaking so loud, that i woke up. YEAH. weird.

last night i woke up like, four times. ugh. it was not a good sleeping night. maybe that's why i so tired today.

i do not sleep well when i am in this house alone. it's a fact. because when i was home in maine over the weekend, i slept SOOO GOOD. like, i would fall asleep and not wake up until i woke up. and then i come back here, and wake up like, every two or three hours.

OH, should i apply for this job? it's to be a HEAD BLOGGER for Alicia Keys on her new website. i was going to apply until i read that one of the requirements is that IF you make it to the end of all the cuts, you have to be interviewed on a morning talk show in NYC. and then i was like, "ooo i don't want to do that." and so i didn't apply.

because clearly after reading this blog, they will want me to blog for Alicia Keys. and i will make all the cuts. YEP.

ok. it's 2am. i think i'm going to go to bed now. i turned on the window fan like, two hours ago so my bedroom could start cooling off.

OH, there was one more thing that i have had on my mind for like, MONTHS. for real. and i am now just thinking about it for the first time while i'm blogging so i can finally tell you.

FINALLY!

i decided that:

Morrissey sounds like the lead singer in The Smiths.

YEAH. right?!?! I KNOW. they sound alike. i think it's kind of hilarious.

OK. UPDATE: i just did some hilarious internet searching and discovered that Morrissey IS THE GUY in The Smiths. who knew?! and now i feel like an idiot.

for real! it's the same guy. no joke. i was watching that Smiths video and was like, "wow, that guy actually looks like Morrissey too!" and then i thought for a moment and was like, "...waaaiitt a second...." and then discovered they are one in the same.

NO WAY. oh, i can't believe it. i'm in shock right now. did everyone else know this?

MAN i thought this was going to be a big, funny ending to this blog post to think that the two guys sounded alike. but now i'm the one who looks like a jerk. geeze. really?

HA. wow. i'm in shock, for real. because i have seriously thought about this FOR SO LONG. and i always kept forgetting to tell you! and now look what we've discovered.

Morrissey seems like such a creeper. and The Smiths are all indie and hip. strange.

ah well. i guess we've just learned some music trivia. perhaps this moment will be a life-changing moment in your very own version of Slumdog Millionaire. and you'll be on a game show and the question will be like,

This singer was the lead vocalist for a popular 80's British alternative rock band and is now a popular solo artist.

(or whatever.) and you'll think back to this moment, RIGHT NOW, when you're reading my blog. wherever you are....whatever time of day or night it is. and you'll get the question right, and you'll win a million dollars. and you'll give some to me. for providing you with the correct answer.

wow, thanks friends!

ok. i'm going to bed. it's 2:18am. thursday morning. day of NAIL ART. yep. i'll let you know how it goes.

have a great day! i'll talk to you later. let's hope for some cooling off.

of the weather. not of our personalities. let's all stay cool. ok, good idea.

ok bye!!!!!


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